Trouble In Paradise

Trouble in paradise ..literally. This place is awesome but the girls are fucking crazy! In a recent entry, I mentioned how I moved in with one of the local showgirls. I’d like to say that it seemed like a good idea at the time but it didn’t. I pretty much knew this was coming, hence the title of the entry – “living with a showgirl, a recipe for drama?” Well, it took a little over 2 weeks but last night that “recipe” manifested itself into a big plate of bullshit.

I’ll backtrack a little. The girl I was staying with goes back and fourth from Pattaya to Issan quite frequently as she has to take her dad to the hospital in her hometown. It’s the typical Thai sob-story. The girl is a “victim of circumstance” as she’s forced to provide for her family via sketchy, unconventional methods (use your imagination) since working at the local 7-11 doesn’t pay near enough.

She has this guy and apparently he thinks that he’s her boyfriend. He sends her money all the time and in return, he gets about 10 minutes of generic (what you eat? how was your day?) conversation via collect call from her every night. Meanwhile, there’s usually some guy in the bed next to her that’s told to “be quiet” until she’s off the phone. Sounds like a good investment on his part, doesn’t it?

Anyway, it was the 18th of September and she was talking to her “boyfriend”. A brief break in the conversation arose and she pounced on the opportunity to ask the ever-so-sly question – “can you send me money?” A question that – judging by her collection of western union branded apparel – has been asked many times. However, this time he shot down her request. After all, he had just sent her 10,000 baht (about 300 US) a week before. Once he denied the request, the call ended pretty quick. I mean, how dare he not send her money. Who does this guy think he is? *sarcasm*

Here’s where it gets embarrassing, for me! Once he refused to send her the cash, I knew I was the next target since she had planned to rent a car and go to her home the next day. I snuck out onto the balcony to get some air and I psyched myself up to shoot her down. “Fuck that shit, I’m not giving her any money” .. I told myself. I went back in and about an hour past before the speech started.

“I only have 1 dad” “ I have many friends here but nobody will help me” .. “I think you know what I’m going to ask”. “NOOOO!” I said (as rehearsed on the balcony). Surprisingly, she was very accepting of my refusal. I laid on the bed pissed off that she would put me in that situation and she started to get ready to go out. While she was pulling a low-cut shirt over her silicone “money makers”, she started coughing uncontrollably.

So, here this girl was ..tired, sick and about to go wonder the streets to find a “customer” for the night so she could take her sick dad to the hospital the following day. Maybe I’m too nice or maybe I’m just stupid – but it got to me. As she was about to leave, I walked to the front door, grabbed her, told her to take off her shoes and go back to bed. The next morning I found myself at the ATM pulling out 15,000 baht (almost 500US) for her dads hospital bills.

As I handed her the stack of 1000 baht bills, I emphasised the fact that this was nothing more than a loan and that I expected to be fully compensated for the money. “I’ll pay you back, I promise” she said. I had a bad feeling about it right from the start and I know now that I should have trusted my initial instinct (as you always should).

So here I am today, on October 2nd and I still haven’t seen 20 baht of the 15,000 that I lent to her. And to make matters worse, this chick storms around the small apartment bitching about every little thing. Forget Quinton Jackson, this girl is the real “Rampage”. Last night I was sick of getting bitched at for seemingly breathing so I basically told her that I just wanted my money so I could bounce. After all, this is Pattaya. A city where a man doesn’t have to put up with the bitching and nagging. It’s much easier to switch-up-girls than it is to get into dragged out arguments over stupid shit.

When I requested the cash, all hell broke loose. Apparently, by her logic, requesting money that’s owed to you is out of line and that “I only care about myself”. Was this girl fucking serious? We argued back and fourth and what happened next made me convinced that this girl has some psychological issues that would rival even “Fon” in a “win a straight-jacket” competition.

She took the remote control for the television, said “now your money is all I think about”, smacked the remote against her forehead about 3 times, then whipped it against the wall. She then proceeded to run to the bathroom and sit in the bathtub for about 2 hours. I mean, that’s a normal stress reliever, isn’t it? Having a nice long bath, I’m sure it’s very relaxing. Only in this case, the tub remained empty and she remained fully clothed.

Needless today, as soon as the rental office opened today, I found my own room. I got my new key and went back to pack up my shit. As I was doing so, we got into another argument over the money and for a second, she tried to pull the “I’m not paying you back” routine.

Can’t Hustle A Hustler

Sure it was stupid to lend her my money but I’m not dumb enough to do so without getting any sort of reassurance that I’ll get it back. When she tried to test the waters by saying she wasn’t going to pay me back, I gave her a few options. Let me rephrase, I gave her 1 option and a few reasons why she should take it.

The Option
Pay me back in 1 week.

The Reasons
1) I had the foresight to predict this situation so I pulled her “boyfriends” number out of her cell phone while she was in the shower. You know, the same “boyfriend” that sends her money all the time. I told her that if I didn’t get my money, I’d call him up and tell him everything. Not only that, I have all sorts of photos that she sent me (taken by another man) that I could always forward to him if he needed proof.

2) I just used this one as a scare tactic, I wouldn’t actually do it. On Saturday night she stumbled into the room all drunk and high. The next day she asked me to urinate into an empty water bottle in case the police came to her bar to randomly make the girls take a drug test. Thailand is different from the States or Canada in the sense that you don’t have to have possession of the drugs to get charged for drug use. The cops can just randomly make you take a urine test as they see fit and if you get busted, the penalties can be pretty serious (if you don’t have money to pay your way out of it). Anyway, I told her that if she didn’t pay me then I would call the cops, tell them that she jacked my money and spent it on drugs. Thus, she would be tested and as she believes, she’d get busted. Truth is, ecstasy is only detectable for 4-6 days after usage but I highly doubt she’ll think to hit up Google for that information.

3) I made sure to get her admitting that she owes me the money through SMS (text message) conversation. I have the whole conversation saved so at least I’ll have some sort of “proof” that the money was indeed a loan.

So, what’s the morale of the story?

As a wise man once said..

Don’t lend $500 dollars of your hard earned money to a drug-addicted prostitute.

So, leave some comments and let me know if you think I’ll get the money back or not. We’ll make it a little poll. And of course, I’ll keep you updated..

Coming Soon

In about a week or so, there’s a fight night here in Pattaya and the fight card features about 3-4 cast members of the Contender Asia. I’ll be going with Rosalie (the owner of Scorpion Gym) as she’s fighting on the card as well. Hopefully I’ll get some cool footage and perhaps a couple of exclusive interviews with the fighters.

THINKING OF GOING TO THAILAND TO TRAIN?

I’ve developed a 70 page guide that profiles everything you need to know about training in Bangkok, Phuket and Pattaya. In the manual, I discuss the visa issues, the Muay Thai camps, the different areas, the transportation, the food, the culture and customs, the girls, the scams, the safety issues and most importantly, how to save a ton of cash along the way!

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE

Living With A Showgirl. A Recipe for Drama?

So, in a past entry I mentioned that I went to Issan with a girl that I met on my birthday. Well, after training at a few of the Muay Thai camps in Bangkok (reviews will come soon), I decided to come back to Pattaya to stay another month. I guess this is how it starts. There’s so many ex-pats here that visit once on a holiday, go back to their home countries, liquidate their assets and move back here permanently – it’s really THAT good. Not only that, but everything here is just so convenient once you’ve stayed a while and figured things out. Transportation and food can be cheap and if you look hard enough, so are the accommodations. The trick is just staying away from the drinking and the nightlife. But of course, for most people – that’s easier said than done.

Well, it looks as though I’ve managed to bring a slice of walking street to my home life via living with a Thailand showgirl. Throughout my bus-ride from Bangkok, me and the girl I met on my birthday were sending text messages back and fourth. When I told her I was on my way back to Pattaya, she extended an invite for me to stay with her at her apartment. I decided to take the plunge and move in. She seems cool; her apartment is in a perfect location as it’s just a 2 minute bus ride from Scorpion gym; the rent is only 200 US a month and of course, let’s not overlook the fact that she’s so hot that if while I was a chubby, horny, 16 year old, someone somehow showed me what my 26th birthday hook-up looked like through a crystal ball, well ..let’s just say I’d probably be willing to skip an entire decade of my life just to rush to this point.

So it’s been about 30 hours of so since I officially unpacked my suitcase and with the exception of a couple minor arguments, things have been going pretty good. Actually, come to think of it, I suppose arguing prior to even completing day 2 isn’t a good sign of things to come. Either way, regardless of what happens – living with a showgirl surely make for some interesting entries for you to read and of course, it‘ll make for some interesting evenings for me to enjoy : )

Seeing as how the only other 2 girls I’ve officially “lived with” are my mom and my sister, this should make for a unique experience. As for the camps I trained at while in Bangkok, I’ll get the reviews up very soon. I went to Sor Vorapin and Sasiprapa. One was good and the other was absolute shit. Stay tuned for the reviews and camp tours.

THINKING OF GOING TO THAILAND TO TRAIN?

I’ve developed a 70 page guide that profiles everything you need to know about training in Bangkok, Phuket and Pattaya. In the manual, I discuss the visa issues, the Muay Thai camps, the different areas, the transportation, the food, the culture and customs, the girls, the scams, the safety issues and most importantly, how to save a ton of cash along the way!

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE

Off The Beaten Path

My 26th birthday was on the 5th of this month so I obviously went out to celebrate. I’m not going to sit here and claim that I went to the bowling alley or out for ice cream either. Fuck that! I was celebrating my birthday in Pattaya, Thailand so I went right to the gogo bars. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Pattaya, I’ll tell you this – this place is known as a “Disneyland for adults” and askmen.com has it ranked as the top “sin city” in the entire world. I train hard and don’t let the temptation get to me but on my birthday – I wanted to let loose.

Throughout the night, I checked out about 15 of the seemingly countless of gogo bars on walking street. My final destination was a bar called “new living dolls showcase”. The girls in this place were all incredibly beautiful but there was one girl specifically who caught my eye. Not just because she was beautiful, but because I actually recognized her from a video on youtube I had seen about 3 months ago and I’m not going to lie – pretty much everyday since I initially viewed it. As a matter of fact, I used to send the video link to my friends while I was in Canada to a) make them jealous that I was going and b) encourage them to book a damn ticket and join me. Here’s the video ..

Anyway, she sat down next to me but started talking to the dude on her right hand side. That went on for about 10 minutes or so but when he got up and walked off (I figured to go to the washroom) I took advantage of the opening to start a conversation. “Hey, how are you?” I said (I’m not very creative when it comes to pick up lines). In true Thailand showgirl fashion, she went right for the wallet – “I’m ok, but I’d be better if you bought me a shot of tequila” she replied. The girls here get a percentage of all the “lady drinks” they sell. I bought the tequila to keep the conversation rolling…

After talking to her for about 5 minutes, the guy who she had been previously talking too walked back but she sort of brushed him off. Awesome! I thought. I drank with her for about another hour or so then we went over to a couple after-hour nightclubs. Unlike a lot of the other girls I’ve met, she actually speaks very good English but not only that, she has a good sense of humour and will joke around with you as well.

Since then, we’ve chilled quite a bit and since she had to come home for a few days to take her dad to the hospital, she invited me to come along since it was an 8 hour drive and she didn’t want to be bored. I took her up on the offer simply because I’m here for an experience, so coming to a place where no other foreigners come too is exactly that – an experience. I seem to get a lot of attention here. As I was driving to her house, we were tailing a mini bus of young Thai army trainees and they got excited and started waving and pointing while saying “farang farang”! The term farang, as mentioned on other entries, is just a non-derogatory term for a foreigner here.

So right now, as I’m typing this, I’m at an internet café that’s located about an hour from “Khan Kaen”. This is the real Thailand (village style). As a matter of fact, the majority of her neighbours built their houses themselves with wood they collected from up in the mountains. The toilets don’t flush (you have to manually pour in a bucket of water). Most people don’t have showers (again, they just use a bucket of water) and her neighbours have a bunch of live chickens in their backyard and when it’s time to eat, I guess they just go out there, grab one, slit its throat and boil it up. It’s definitely been a culture shock for me.

I’ll be taking some plenty of photos and videos while I’m here (I’ve got some good ones already) and I’ll be uploading them for you guys once I get access to a faster internet connection. I should be in Bangkok within the next few days so I should be able to throw up another update then..

Oh wow, just as I was typing this .. My friends sister showed up with 2 chicken/rice meals for me. When you hear people say that they fall in love with “the people” of Thailand – that’s the sort of thing they’re talking about..

THINKING OF GOING TO THAILAND TO TRAIN?

I’ve developed a 70 page guide that profiles everything you need to know about training in Bangkok, Phuket and Pattaya. In the manual, I discuss the visa issues, the Muay Thai camps, the different areas, the transportation, the food, the culture and customs, the girls, the scams, the safety issues and most importantly, how to save a ton of cash along the way!

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE